Girls, Girls, Girls: I'm back

I created this blog with a plan to print all posts at the end of every year and I/we can look through it from time to time to remember the 'good ol' days'.

I have intentionally not posted anything for some time because this is a page in my life that I never want to remember! Without going into detail, I have been to hell and back. I am finally crawling out of this deep hole I have been buried in for several months now. I am starting to feel normal enough (whatever that is) to continue my typical day to day activities.

I guess many of us go through chapters in our lives that are so painful that it literally hurts to breath. I have become accustom to staying up till 3am because sleep seems much too peaceful during this hurricane which is my life. Then of course it is all I can do to drag myself out of bed in the mornings.

I have become the expert on 'putting on a happy face' for my girls. (However, they are too smart to not have some idea.) It became habit for me to pull over on the side of the road after dropping the girls off at school and sobbing so hard that my head pounded the rest of the day. I would try to work, but let's face it....my 100% commission paycheck has definitely seen better days!

Just when I thought my heart was going to literally explode and come pouring out....I would escape to Lucy's blog. This blog while so devastatingly sad has been an extremely helpful tool. As I read Kate's daily posts, (Lucy's mother....best writer ever) I realized that wallowing around in my own self pity is extremely selfish! I have blessings in my life that Lucy and her family would pay millions for. Kate has a 5 year old child (Lucy) that without a miracle from God will die. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my problems are temporary as long as I listen to God and follow the plan He designed.

Lucy's blog takes me a thousand miles away from my own hurt. I literally end up on my knees praying for this sweet child's life. I pray for the mother that has to hold it together for not only Lucy but her 5 month old and her 7 year old. To anyone reading my blog I encourage you to check out Lucy's blog.
erikandkatekrull.blogspot.com Kate writes in a way that takes you into the hospital room right beside sweet Lucy. She should honestly publish her journey once Lucy is healed. The book would pay for the hospital bills for sure! Kate is the strongest lady/mother/wife/Christian I have ever known. (actually, I only know her through her blog)

Anyway, I am happy to be back on my blog! I/we seem to heal a little bit every day. However, one step forward 2 steps back tends to be my reality....and that's ok. I have now come out of the darkness enough to see the lessons God is wanting....no BEGGING me to learn. Although it has been anything but pleasant I am grateful for every step.

I did try and capture some pretty great moments with my camera.